Coupons

I didn't know I would be accosted in Michaels. I went there to pick up a piece of African art that I had dropped off to be framed. When they called me to tell me it was ready, I freaked out. They called 30 minutes before my orchestra concert, and I thought it was my clarinet buddy from orchestra calling. I thought I'd have to play the concert alone. But that's a pretty serious bunny trail, if you ask me!
back to Michaels...
I picked up the art work and pushed my shopping cart to the bead aisle. I had more shopping to do! In particular, that green necklace I tried to make while my sister was here...it needed another focal point. I was just rounding the end cap, looking at shiny baubles when I heard a small, feeble voice:

small feeble voice (sfv): "Do you have a coupon??"

Uh oh, what's this? A coupon thief? I look up from my sparkly and see...I seee.........THE CUTEST LITTLE GRANDMA EVER!!!!! Seriously...imagine a 5'2" little grandma hunched over in the bead aisle! BROWSING THROUGH BEADS!!!

So, naturally, I replied: "No, I don't." (isn't that genius? I was speechless. Her grandmotherly aura left me incapable of intelligent things to say, like "please climb into my cart," or "I have a tub of prunes in my car!!!")

sfv: "Here, you can have this one!" Her shaky little paw pulled out a neatly clipped coupon and passed it across the aisle.

me: "Oh. thank you! That's so very kind of you!"

And I thought that was it. She went about her beady business, and I went about mine...But wait!! There's more! I suddenly remembered that I needed to look at findings! And wouldn't you know it...so was she! I edged my cart into the skinny little aisle and parked it squarely behind grandma. She wasn't going to get away now!

sfv: "Are you finding what you need?" (is she suddenly volunteering for the store, or pleading for help? The suspense is killing me!)

me: "Oh, yes. I'm mostly browsing. Are you?"

sfv: "I can't find silver crimp beads. I saw them in gold over there, but I can't find silver" And at this point I'm nearly dying. Have you ever met an ancient grandma who even KNOWS what a crimp bead is?? She, of course, in grandmotherly fashion, began to explain what a crimp bead was. And I let her. Because how many people on this earth can say they've had a teeny little octogenarian tell them what a crimp bead is for???

So we found the silver crimp beads. two different sets. And we discussed which set would better suit her needs. Then it was back to the gold jewelry, because we all know that grannies love gold!

but wait!! Before the gold, there's this:

sfv: do you have a coupon??

me: why, yes, I do! You just gave me one! Thank you!

sfv: Oh, I did??

and on to the promised gold:

sfv: "oh look, gold! I've never seen these in gold before! Gold looks good on my skin! I have yellow skin" Grandma displays her papery, trembling hand for me. I don't really see yellow skin, but she has a gold ring.

me: "Oh look! It does look really good on you!" And that's no lie! Anything looks good on cute grandma hands!

Grandma decides she can handle the cost of gold AND silver crimp beads! And then, as grandma is beginning to step away, I say:

"Good luck with your necklace!"

sfv: "Oh, I'm making a glasses-holder. They are so expensive at the eye doctor, and I thought I could make one for cheaper."

And with that, cute little grandma faded out of my life forever. I hope she can see the beads! Curses on my cotton mouth! Why didn't I mention the prunes?

And would you like to know the funny part? None of my purchases were eligible for the coupon! hehehehe