It's very interesting the correlation between the number and density of young whippersnappers and the number of sightings of my inner grannie.
All the college kiddos (and now that I am eleven years older than them, I no longer feel bad about calling them kiddos) have been back on campus for two weeks now, and I find myself tsking much more often now than I did over the summer.
Some examples:
1) Last week, after hobbiting in my gollumtastic cave office (hope you like Lord of the Rings!!) for several days, living in denial that the whippersnappers were back, I was finally forced to venture out into the throngs. What forced me to this desperate, unwise act?? Hormonal hungriness. I had no lunch, and one certain Cricky Jr. wouldn't let me get away with it. So, I begrudgingly trudged up to University Hill (the most concentrated area of whippersnapperness) during student rush hour (the most concentrated time for whippersnapperness-class change) to get Qdoba. It didn't take long for me to notice the new trend for young ladies this fall: shorts so short you don't know they exist. And here it comes: the first tsk of the year. And the tsking continued all the way to Qdoba and back, until I was safely holed away in my hermit nest again. But really, they deserve it. It looks like they are all wearing peasant blouses with no bottoms. I saw more thighs, thighs, cellulite, jiggling, and thighs than I have seen in a LOOOOOOOOONG time. I said a silent prayer that the arrival of winter would be swift. But then I remembered that winter= UGG boots. And then I just felt like a grumpy grannie.
2) Young whippersnappers seem to be addicted to two things: iPods and cellphones. They love, love, love to combine the two simultaneously, with the unfortunate addition of wheels. They bike while texting and with earphones in. tsk. They skateboard with the above combination. tsk tsk. One whippersnapper almost became roadkill when my hubby/chauffeur came to drive me home from work the other day. We decided these instincts aren't necessarily bad. They do, after all, encourage "survival of the fittest" or natural selection. If you aren't smart enough to listen and look for cars while you skateboard down the middle of the street, well then, perhaps you ought to be pancaked on the road and removed from the gene pool, whippersnapper!!
3) During lunch today, I took 15 minutes to go outside, sit under a tree and knit. When I happened upon my tree, there was a whippersnapper under it. Tsk. Look here, whippersnapper: that tree and I have a long-established relationship that transcends the academic school year. So, you just skeedaddle. I was finally forced to find another tree to sit under, so I unfolded my blanket, pulled out my knitting and took a deep breath of fresh air. Then I heard it...the constant drone of whippersnapper conversations. Why is it that whippersnappers can't sit under a tree, breathe the air in, enjoy the breeze on their cheek, watch the clouds in the sky, and listen to the birds?? I swear the second they get out of class they are glued to their phones. tsk. I heard "like", "dude", "man", "sweet", and other such california-girl speak. And I heard more than my grannie ears could take. tsk tsk tsk. Then, to make matters more grouchy, I began to hear the tree talk. And just when I was beginning to wonder if my inner grannie is becoming real, dementia-causing grannie, I realized there were students up in the tree. About 20 feet up in the tree. tsk. Then one climbed down with flip flops on and I was reminded of the survival of the fittest again. tsk tsk.
Why is this all making me realize that it's going to be a long, long, long semester??
