What's that smell?

Being a building proctor at a library is fun. Take today for example...

I received the following email:

"Who is the contact for building issues/emergencies? There is a really nauseating smell in the women's restroom. It was so bad I couldn't even go to the bathroom. Could you call this in??"


What am I supposed to do with that?

"dear co-worker, Could the nauseating smell have been the result of bathroom activities? Say, someone taking an epic dump? Would you rather someone not do this in the bathroom? Another place, perhaps? How about on your desk, for example?"

or...

"Dear Facilities Management, our bathroom is really quite stinky. Terribly stinky. I am submitting this work order so that you will come fix it. You. Fix it."


And here's another thing...what do you do with subjective building problems? For example, I find vanilla to be the most nauseating smell possible. I HATE vanilla. So, if our reference librarian just happens to have on vanilla perfume or a vanilla air freshener...she's in trouble. "Dear Fac Man, there is a nauseating smell behind the librarian desk. Please remedy."

It reminds me of the librarian who went home early because of the terrible, permeating odor that was causing her migraines every day. I was dispatched to go investigate the scent. And what did I find???.........nothing. A big, whopping, normal smelling, nothing. We even had the air quality control come run a particulate matter/air quality test. nothing. officially nothing.

One just feels terribly silly calling these things in to Facilities!


P.S. last week I called in an overflowing toilet. You wanna know what was clogging the thing? A smart phone. It was crammed so far up the pipe that they had to break it in two. Someone had a bad day that day!!!

My hubby. In Disney World