Today I realized I truly married the best person on earth for me. I realize this fairly frequently, because I know I'm a Donald Duck, Jr., and I know it takes a special person to be patient with me. But today I realized it for a different reason.
As I was riding the bus home today, I saw a young man sitting at the front of the bus. He was on one of the sideways seats, so I could see his profile. He reached in his backpack and grabbed a bag of Doritos. And then he began...assaulting them. I say"assault" because his action could hardly be called "chewing." It was very disturbing to watch, and within 3 seconds, I knew I could never spend my life with that man. I don't care if he is the sweetest thing ever created, I could never forgive his potato chip chewing.
Then I remembered a co-worker down the hall from me. When this person types, you could honestly believe a thunderstorm is approaching. I've noticed that all the people that sit around this clacker wear earphones, listen to music, or look oppressed. I've never heard typing that deafening. It's really something. And it didn't take long for me to know that not only could I not spend my life with this person, I couldn't even manage sitting next to them for eight hours a day. Maybe not even one. There would be rage. brewing rage.
And finally I remembered Larry the Cereal Slurper. You've never heard such graphic slurping. It was gag-inducing. It was toe-curling. It was pain. I imagine it's the kind of soundtrack they have on loop in hell. Suffice it to say I could not spend one more minute of my life listening to that slurping without going ballistic.
After considering all these things on my five minute bus ride (while talking to my Mr. and such-girls are great multi-taskers) I realized that my Mr. luckily doesn't have these kinds of mannerisms that drive me bonkers. Not one. In fact, I find most of his mannerisms cute and alluring. I guess you might call that twitterpation.
