Funny books you only see when you work in a library...

Oh tralala!! this made my day!! I'm sure every arteeest of every kind has heard this at some point. And look...it's officially a booklet/government study!!

ummmmm...

Does any of the following conversation I had with a co-worker just now strike you as odd??

Lars (name changed to protect the...umm): What's that you're listening to?
Me: Nutcracker.
Lars: Can you believe that I have NEVER seen the Nutcracker? I don't even have any idea what the plot is!!
Me: Golly Jeepers! Are you serious! I grew up seeing it every year (thanks Mom & Da!). But I perform in a production of it now, which is why I was listening to it just now. Mental practicing, you see.
Lars: You PLAY it?? Where?
Me: In the Longmont Symphony, with the Boulder ballet. I've done it for three years now, and it's a good production. You should see it. We play next weekend, etc.

this carries on for some time until:

Lars: So, where could I go see it, I wonder.
Me: ummm.
Lars: I'm sure there are several productions in the area.
Me: ummmmm. (did I just imagine the prior conversation??)

I think it was pretty clever!!

Yesterday I had to go shopping for work again. I had to go to our local hardware store, McGuckins. They famously have "everything." Although I have once or twice happened upon things they don't have. They don't have watch batteries, for example.

I was asked to get a screwdriver, and the person desiring the screwdriver pulled one out of my toolbox and said, "I want one like this, and one a little smaller."

Now, I know that as much as I look at that screwdriver, as soon as I get on Screwdriver Row at McGuckins, they will all look the same, and I'll end up with the wrong ones. So, I created (traced) the following screwdriver shopping guide:

My Mr. just laughed when he saw it. And so did another boy co-worker. What's the deal? It worked fine! I got the right screwdriver!!

Crimes against the piano

The other day I had to order printer cartridges for the library. So, I called up "Fluffycartridge" (aka...a pseudonymn for the cartridge company, in case they would like to remain anonymous) and was asked to hold. Sure! If that makes the day go by any faster!
As soon as they put me on hold, I got the, "we'll answer these in the order they are received" message, and then music.
Well, I cringe a little to call it music. What it should be called is...

piano rape.

The sounds that oozed out of the phone and into my ear were sounds of a tortured piano. In fact, I could really hear the piano screaming to get away! Practically every note had a full-keyboard arpeggio following it. The melody was sappy and...sappy. I just can't think of another word. just sappy!! but, sappy times four. or sappy squared! birdbrained! saccharine!! ICKY!!

And there I sat, part of me cringing and looking for a fork so I could jab my eyeballs with it. Then, the music stopped, and that announcer came on. "your call is important to us." And you know what??? I was irritated!!! Put the piano rape music back on!!!!

It was completely one of those experiences where you can't stand to look at it, but you can't peel your eyes off it, either. Except listening, not watching.

I hear such quality music ALL the time. From my Mr., from concerts we attend, from our recordings, etc. Suddenly this awful, criminal music was grotesquely fascinating, yet so wrong!!