The land of misfit toys

I was playing with that adorable baby boy of mine when I realized that some of the toys he has are pretty amusing. or disturbing.
Take a look at this farm toy, which he loves:

Pretty standard farm toy fare, yes? But wait...take a look at this cow.

I am udderly (nyuk nyuk!) confused by this animal. What are those ears? What in the HECK is that nose? And that humongous smile? Not to mention the curlicue, deformed looking fetlock (that's ankle, for you non critter peeps) hair. I think a beef crop and a elephant seal had a baby together.

Also, Adam thinks this creature, which the toy calls a sheep, is actually a fluffy puppy. I think he may be right. He looks like he might lick your face and beg for a treat!

Moving along, please note the following wooden puzzle, which my baby Shrimp also loves. Notice anything strange?? No?? You're probably not as bizarre and disturbed as I am. Let me enlighten you.

This deer has boobs. Vertically stacked boobs. I've never seen a deer like that.

This elephant, as my dad would say, "likes his momma's spaghetti."
Have you ever seen a double chinned, pink elephant?

I would like you to note that these toy creators obviously know what they're doing. They must have done research to show that vertically be-boobed deer and spaghetti-loving elephants are babies' favorites. Notice the first two puzzle pieces missing once my baby saw I was "playing" with the puzzle and realized that he "must have his part in the conversation."

Here is the snake. I wasn't quite sure what exact face this snake was making, but my hubby nailed it: "He looks like he just pooped in his pants." I don't know any pants-wearings snakes, but I guess if he had filled his snake tube-pants, he might make a pop-eyed, squiggly grimace. Oh, and the toy creators are at it again. Look how this "oops I crapped my pants" snake attracts my baby like a magnet.

And now, for the most frightening of all my baby's toys....the dreaded Googly-Eyed Chicken washcloth.
Why would you put a face like that on a baby toy? It seriously reminds me of the poultry version of the Chucky doll.

I know where you live!!

Because, you know, every mother wants to see a maniacal, bibbed chicken looming over her baby's head.

Oh, and here's a refreshingly cute toy. A little baby dinosaur, ready to face the new, scary world! I wonder what he'll be when he grows up??